Alpha Realities
by takumiraine
Summary: Dave Strider and Rose Lalonde feel their alpha selves, but Dave is the one struggling behind his coolkid mask. He can feel the anguish emanating from his other self, and can see him preparing for the biggest moment of his life. Rose made the static in his head clearer, but was that really the best thing?


Dave Strider was leaning against the wall of the meteoric construct littered with trolls, trying to sort through the garbled strains of conversation in his head. It was like someone turned on an AM radio and kept going through tunnels. He reached under his shades to rub the bridge of his nose, pushing the heels of his hands into his eyes. Hearing the click of footsteps on the tile, he withdrew his hands and stuffed them into his pockets, slouching down in the slightest most deliberate way, to make it look like he had just decided to have some bro time with the wall in a lonely hallway.

Click.  
Click.  
Click.  
Click.

The figure, a lone girl with blonde hair turned the corner, and paused. Even with his eyes closed he knew who it was. Very few people had a gait like hers, even fewer yet would stop for more than a fleeting moment. But fleeting had galloped on by, so had halting, and surprised. Now they were into tense. Halfway between tense and awkward, the footsteps started again, slower, like one would approach a wounded and scared animal, before stopping right next to him. Thankfully Rose knew enough to stay out of his personal bubble. Physically at least.

"Dave?" The word turned the static in his head clearer, and he leaned more against the wall, turning ever so slightly ashen from what he saw and the strain it put on his mind. It was them, him and her, on a rooftop, much older than they were now. At least a decade, maybe two. "Is everything alright?"

_The rooftop was warm, but cooling with the setting sun, a light breeze helping to enforce the chill. A man, tall and expressionless, stood near the edge wearing Ben Stiller's shades, black slacks and a red suitcoat._

A breeze blew from behind him carrying the scent of ink and lavender across the gravel, which was now crunching and shuffling faintly under the delicate footsteps of a woman in heels. "Dave, is everything alright?" He turned some, looking at her through the shades in the rapidly growing twilight, before turning back to the horizon.

"Few more hours till our flight. Maybe you'll be luckier." His heart, already fractured by the two missing pieces that his best bro and some dog girl had left, shattered further. He knew the truth, neither of their kids were coming, and their friends were nonexistent.

"Maybe." Her voice gave away as little as his did, but Dave knew that Rose doubted her daughter would appear as much as he did.

"I'm fine Rose. I just..." Here the younger Strider faltered, trying to work through the sudden knot in his throat and the borderline overwhelming pain in his heart, leaking through from his older self's future-memory. "Time bullshit" He finished, somewhat lamely, shrugging. His body was so tense that it was shaking. Or maybe it was tense because it was shaking. He didn't really know anymore. Everything in his head was so muddled. The disappointment of not having the chance to teach his bro how to be the epitome of cool, the defeat of knowing it wouldn't happen so easily, the pure anguish of trying to find his best bro in the whole world, but finding that he no longer existed, and only having scattered memories and impressions to work off of.

"You feel them too." Rose stated, coming closer and gently rubbing one of his arms, before helping him slide down the wall to sit.

"I thought it was only me." He murmured, accepting her comfort for the moment, as the emotional overhaul left him drained.

"You feel them because you're the Hero of Time. I believe I feel them due to my communing with the Horrorterrors." She wrapped her arms around her ectobrother, letting his head drop onto her shoulder, nose nearly pressed into her neck. She still smelled like ink and lavender and it made his eyes burn with tears that he refused to shed. Cool kids did not cry. No matter now much pressure to become a hero they were under.

Maybe that's why he wasn't allowed to raise his kid. Maybe he wasn't heroic enough. Maybe his lack of heroism had fucked up the cosmos for Rose too. The other Rose, the one who had her hand on his shoulder in the now-future. Maybe he'd just fuck up raising his Bro so badly that they wouldn't even want to play the dumb game, and they would all be dead. Maybe that's why the kids didn't arrive.

"Dave, it's not your fault." Rose murmured to him, feeling the wetness on her shoulder from one lone tear that escaped. "They aren't us. Not really. Skaia has its own plans. When we Scratched those plans changed some. Do not worry about them."

Dave wasn't so certain though. He felt that crushing sense of disappointment across time and timelines, the guilt, the anger, the loneliness, the frustration. Every emotion magnified in what seemed to be a feedback loop.

He couldn't help but wonder what that did to the other him, if he could feel the echoes of pain, or maybe everything he felt from his other self was just imagined. He closed his eyes and watched the major events of his other self's life, swearing that he could feel the anguish and grief running through the man's veins.

_Dave put together things that he hoped would last, for his charge to appreciate in the future. First he made a Con Air museum._

"Because it's important Rose."

"Important?"

_"Important to __**him**__."_

"To whom?"

"Egbert. Man he'd be so psyched."

"Dave... This man does not exist. I've looked everywhere I possibly could, used every connection I have. There is no John Egbert anywhere in the real world." Dave got angry then and disconnected the call. He was angry because he had turned up the exact same results. He was angry because this man, this man who had meant so much to him, did not exist anywhere outside of his own mind.

His second preparation was creating a baby safe apartment, even though he would no longer be around to take care of the baby. He carved a nameplate, and left clues to what was going on once the kid got older, as well as robotics manuals all over the place. A lone handwritten note was placed on top of one of the manuals.

robotics is cool lil man

Similar notes were left all over the house as he prayed, unironically and without shame, to every deity he could think of that his Bro would be safe without him. That his notes would guide him in the right direction. That he'd be ready to take on the Batterwitch and SBURB. The former was all too real, and both Dave and Rose knew it. The latter was a figment of fractured memory, and he was unsure if it would happen or not. But it was still best to be prepared.

Then the day came when he could prepare no longer. He pulled what he considered to be the biggest nightmare inducing puppet out of a trunk, and propped it up on the couch. One more note was placed on the doll's lap.

this is lil cal  
lil cal is the shit  
he will take care of you

The 'because I can't' was left hanging in the air around him, and one more stab of pain ricocheted around his chest. He left the note on Lil Cal's lap, before giving the puppet a fist bump, poker face remaining uncracked as he picked up the sword and went to go meet his destiny.

Still leaning against Rose, Dave shuddered, still able to feel what happened even after the images faded for good. The pain tore through him like it did for every other dead Dave. Only worse. Because this is an alpha timeline Dave. A real Dave. Him. Only not him.

Fuck it hurt.

Rose's shoulder was soaked now, and he made an effort to stem the flow of liquid from his eyes, but fuck. Cool kid or not... No fourteen year old should have to deal with this. It was getting to be too much. But Bro would never throw in the towel and neither would he.

He might not be a hero, but he was a Strider. And Striders never quit.

The sounds of yelling and lisping jolted Dave away from Rose and back up onto his feet leaning against the walls, all traces of tears disappearing under an even thicker cool kid shell, hands returning to his pockets. Rose stayed on the floor, legs delicately folded off to the side, as knitting appeared in her hands.

Sollux and Karkat rounded the corner, the yellow blood keeping one hand on the wall opposite them. They didn't stop their squabbling as they passed, too caught up in whatever stupid troll thing they were talking about to notice the two humans, before turning another corner at the end of the hall, the sounds fading off rather quickly.

There was no going back to being the uncool pathetic schmuck that he had been only a minute before now. The moment had passed and the pain was duller now. Still there, but bearable.

Pushing off the wall he gave a nod to Rose and started heading down the hallway, needing to go reassure himself that his best bro was still okay.

"Dave?" Rose asked, and he knew she was enquiring about where he was going, that they really should talk more about what had just happened.

"John." Was his only reply as he rounded he corner, disappearing from view.


End file.
